


Do you remember, James?

by SoizicBleiz



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Marauders, Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Sad Remus, arent we all, nostalgic remus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 13:03:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18993190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoizicBleiz/pseuds/SoizicBleiz
Summary: "Do you remember, James? Do you remember when we were thirteen? It was a time when we were free and carefree, as much free and carefree as we could be."Remus is teaching at Hogwarts and he feels the need to write to his old friend.





	Do you remember, James?

**Author's Note:**

> Just letting you know that English is not my first language and this is the translation of one of my old works, so it might feel weird at some points, I'm not sure. But enjoy!

Do you remember, James?

Do you remember when we were thirteen?

It was a time when we were free and carefree, as much free and carefree as we could be. 

That year, we were just beginning to hear about You-Know-Who, who was slowly rising to power. It was that year, that you started to have a crush on Lily. It was also that year that your head began getting bigger. I remember, it started after that match against Ravenclaw, when you scored seventy points all by yourself.

But most of all, that we became brothers that year.

Yes, it was that year that Sirius and you got the idea that would make us brothers, or so we thought. Brothers never betray each others. And yet, today, you are dead, Peter is too and Sirius escaped from Azkaban a few months ago.

And I am alone. All alone.

Alone, without any of you, who always have been by my side. Alone each full moon, always alone. It might sound stupid but the moment when I miss you the most, when I feel the most alone, is during the full moons, every time I turn into a monster. Without you, I become one again. You were the ones stopping me from being one. It was all thanks to you that I could keep an ounce of humanity. Now, it is worse than ever. Because I know, that at one point, I had a stag, a dog and a rat to help me. I don’t anymore.

I am alone and at Hogwarts. You surely know that James, but this year, I am teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts. You can be proud of me, I did not run away when Professor Dumbledore offered me the job. Yet, I could have. Especially this year, with Sirius who betrayed you around. Betrayed you? What am I saying... Betrayed all of us.

Today James, I taught a class about boggarts, to the third years. You know what the biggest fear of Frank and Alice’s son is? Snivellus. I don’t know if I should laugh or cry about it. But this is not what I wanted to talk to you about. At one point, the boggart turned into a Dementor. Do you know who is this student whose biggest fear is fear itself? It is another Gryffindor. I’m going to give you a clue. He has dark hair that can’t be brushed and green eyes. Yes, I’m talking about your son, James.

The first time I saw him, I felt numb. I thought it was you, for a second that felt like an eternity. But then, I saw his green eyes and his scar. And more importantly, he wasn’t with a tall boy with long and dark hair, nor a smaller, fatter boy, nor a skinny boy. No, he was with a tall, ginger boy and a girl with crazy hair. And James, it hurt so much, when I realized it, like every time I remember what happened. 

She reminds me of Lily, you know, that girl. She is a muggleborn, and I think she knows Hogwarts: a history by heart too. Thinking of it, I think they share the same fear, of not being enough because they come from another world. I think she is the best in all of her classes (and she has a lot of them). Except in Defence Against the Dark Arts. In this class, mine if you have been following correctly, she is surpassed by another Gryffindor. A hint? He is as talented as a seeker as his father was as chaser. Yes, once again, I am talking about your son, James.

Oh James, how I wish you could see him play. You would be so proud. He has as much grace and ease in the air as you had. It was McGonagall who made him the Gryffindor seeker during his first year. Do you realize? Your son is the youngest seeker in over a century! All while living a life without Quidditch. What would it have been if you raised him? I can’t imagine what it would be like.

I miss you James. I miss the Marauders. I miss Lily. I miss Alice and Frank. I miss everything. If only Sirius wouldn’t have betrayed us… If only.

Why did he do it, James? Why? I don’t understand. I don’t understand any of it… From the four of us, he was the one who hated You-Know-Who the most, his stupid Death Eaters and that stupid ideology about the purity of the blood. He was the one who created the Marauders, and yet, he is the one who destroyed them. I was happy, thanks to you. Now, I am nothing. I don’t know what to do any more. I am so lonely.

It hurts James, when I think about you, when I think about us, when I remember our adventures in Hogwarts, when I see Harry who grew up without his parents, without you, without Lily, when I think about Neville who grew up seeing his parents who have gone mad and don’t even recognize him. It hurts so much when I think about what my life has become.

Do you remember James?

Do you remember when we were thirteen?

Do you remember when we were happy?


End file.
